Oh lardy dah!

Apparently there is a list to show that when have made it in life. If you have/own these things then you know! Great huh? I thought I would have a look and see how I compared!

A detached house – Check

A high end car – Check

A range cooker – No the wife can’t cook so would be a waste

A Jacuzzi – No

Private Gates – No

A gold card – Probably

A bathroom television – I wish

A swimming pool – Nope

Queen-sized bed – I have a king (more space between the wife and I)

A boiling water tap – What?

Apparently having a detached house makes people feel like they have made it or like me, being a miserable git who doesn’t like to hear his neighbours. A high end car, yes I suppose, however high end for me is a BMW or Merc and that’s more to do with the car than the status of owing it. A Range Cooker, perhaps, if it was a case of keeping up with the Joneses, however my wife can’t cook and spending that sort of money would be a massive waste.

Things like Jacuzzi’s and Swimming pools I suppose could be considered a statement for the rich, however it seems every Tom, Dick or Harry has one of those cheap blow up ones in their garden nowadays. Private gets well I suppose they keep the undesirables out but as I have found in the past myself as well when the electric fob breaks.

I’ve tried asking for a TV in the bathroom before but the wife doesn’t want to spend money on that not when we already have 3 TV’s in the house. Also I don’t take baths and a shower only lasts 2 minutes, however if I could watch TV in the shower I’m sure certain shows would extend my shower time…

I have a gold card that came because the wife spends a fortune on my credit card, which I pay off regularly. I also have a fancy bank account, for the rich, not that I spend much money in there. I’m not sure why a queen bed would be a sign of making it, a king sized one is bigger, but I suppose queen is bigger than a double bed. And then a boiling water tap, what the feck is one of those, don’t people have kettles?

Anyway, I must head out into the garden and assess the damage by the winds. The wife keeps nagging me because the wheelie bin is rolling off down the street and her bird table has more lean to it than the tower of Pisa.

 

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